How to Prolong Your Pregnancy . . .

People counfound me for all sorts of reasons. Here's one: folks generally get sick of being pregnant after 40 weeks.

The advice online is all about how to trigger labor, get to see your baby, and regain your body back. My theory: the people writing this blogs and contributing to these websites have either never had a baby or are about to have their first. And they, like I before having Lucy, have no idea what a greater disruption having a newborn in the home is in comparison to being slightly large, sore, and overdue. Because of this, I propose a new topic entry into the abundant genre of pregnancy advice: "How to Prolong Your Pregnancy". And, since I am currently five days overdue, I happen to be quite the expert on the subject. Here's what you can do so that you too can gather amazed stares from folks on the street, so you can frustrate your anxious friends and family who are just dying to meet your new little addition. In essence, here's what I've done:

*Eat ridiculous amounts of cottage cheese, salt and vinegar chips, and grapes, mixed together.
*Carry your three year old (or a 30lb weight) around all the time.
*Watch an embarrassing number of "baby story" shows in which, time after time, women just spontaneously "go into labor", as if this is an easy feat to accomplish, requiring no effort at all.
*Work out everyday on the elliptical to the point where the undergrads working at the gym say with nervous laughter: "You are banned from the gym once you hit your due date". Then, continue going to the gym once it passes.
*Tell everyone when you are 34 weeks pregnant that your midwife is afraid you might go into labor early. Then watch God laugh as you hit 41 weeks.

So yes, I'm still pregnant. But I'm also still blogging. And if Zander had already entered the scene, I can promise this blogging thing wouldn't have been happening.

P.S. If you do decide you want to make an entrance into the world anytime soon, baby boy, well I'd appreciate it to happen sooner rather than later. . . . your head is only getting larger . . .